[ well. he is also kind of weak to her and if she'd actually asked to do it instead of just asking if it was rude to ask he probably would have allowed it (though it would have come with a lecture). ]
Can't entirely blame you if it was her.
[ but he is judging just slightly. ]
...Told her in a letter she's allowed to touch the good one once she stops bein' dead if she isn't weird about it.
She wasn't weird about it with me. In fact, she has very gentle hands.
[ but also like, jiaoqiu hasn't been ostracized because he's a furry his whole life so he's a little less sensitive about his ears and tail, so long as people aren't rude about it. ]
I do miss her. [ ... ] But they shouldn't be lost for much longer.
Their god told me to wait and let them handle it, and when I expressed displeasure with how they were handling things, they told me I can tell everybody they're a terrible god, if that's how I feel about it.
[ tail swish. ]
I gave up on that avenue very quickly, as it was getting me nowhere.
I was trying to be polite. You catch more flies with honey than vinegar, after all, but...
[ a sigh. ]
The second I even so much as slightly lost my temper, I was met with passive aggressiveness and an instant shut down. Gods are no different than any of us.
Yeah, well, I'm not interested in catching flies in the first place. [ unlike that fuckin' thing. looks like it belongs in a swamp. ] They're gonna have to do a lot better than that.
Then I suppose I should let you do the talking, when it comes to it. [ ... ] We won't see each other again after all of this, if what they said was right.
[ yeah, he really doesn't like it either. there are people here he'd never want to part ways with if he had the choice. ]
Maybe we can... shite, I don't know, make a reservation or somethin', make sure we can come back to the same place.
[ he's not sure what to say to the last part, though, because this is one thing he can't relate to. life isn't long for their people. with vinca gone now too, everyone they knew from when they were kids is dead. their mother was younger than he is now when she died (well, disappeared, but he knows). young soldiers they fought alongside could be there at breakfast and gone by dusk. even the ones who don't meet unfortunate early ends rarely live past sixty. ]
...Guess that's pretty different for you, isn't it?
[ it's funny, because his whole life has been watching other people die before him. young soldiers there at breakfast and gone at dusk is so very familiar. it's just jiaoqiu was never out enough in the line of fire, and he was always the one to watch the remains come back.
silence, for a moment. ]
Ah, well. I suppose I don't know how long I have left even without the grievous injuries.
[ he's pretty old. still, his thoughts are just a scribble of being tired of having to give up the things he loves in the name of duty. ]
[ oof. for a scribble, that thought's pretty clear. he winces, and reaches to put his hand firmly on jiaoqiu's arm. ]
Ugh, c'mon, don't start talkin' like that.
[ like your life don't matter. ]
...You've got the option of stayin' in Heaven too if you'd rather, don't you? [ not that this is much of a pitch when they're having this conversation in this awful cafeteria. ] If you don't think goin' back to your world is that important. Reckon you wouldn't have to wait so long for the rest of us then, and I doubt you'd be the only one stayin' behind anyway.
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I assume nobody has asked you if they can pet your ears.
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[ no one else has dared. ]
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jiaoqiu looks a little... not ashamed, but maybe sheepish. ]
Ah, I must be weak. [ because she asked and he let her without question ]
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Can't entirely blame you if it was her.
[ but he is judging just slightly. ]
...Told her in a letter she's allowed to touch the good one once she stops bein' dead if she isn't weird about it.
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[ but also like, jiaoqiu hasn't been ostracized because he's a furry his whole life so he's a little less sensitive about his ears and tail, so long as people aren't rude about it. ]
I do miss her. [ ... ] But they shouldn't be lost for much longer.
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[ frustrating. how am I supposed to help when I am not allowed. ]
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[ still frustrating. ]
That what the angels tell you too?
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Their god told me to wait and let them handle it, and when I expressed displeasure with how they were handling things, they told me I can tell everybody they're a terrible god, if that's how I feel about it.
[ tail swish. ]
I gave up on that avenue very quickly, as it was getting me nowhere.
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I've been tellin' everyone they're a terrible god since the first murder happened. Didn't need to wait for their permission to do that.
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[ a sigh. ]
The second I even so much as slightly lost my temper, I was met with passive aggressiveness and an instant shut down. Gods are no different than any of us.
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Then I suppose I should let you do the talking, when it comes to it. [ ... ] We won't see each other again after all of this, if what they said was right.
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It'll be one way, with no way to go between after that. Or so they said.
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[ he hadn't really felt like asking and having it confirmed himself, but he's not surprised to hear it. ]
There's always meetin' back up here though, right? In Heaven proper, anyway. Not like we aren't gonna die again eventually.
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I suppose so. [ but it's clear he doesn't like that, by the way his jaw works. ] There's no telling if this is where we'll go again, though.
... And life is so long. [ you are being selfish. ]
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Maybe we can... shite, I don't know, make a reservation or somethin', make sure we can come back to the same place.
[ he's not sure what to say to the last part, though, because this is one thing he can't relate to. life isn't long for their people. with vinca gone now too, everyone they knew from when they were kids is dead. their mother was younger than he is now when she died (well, disappeared, but he knows). young soldiers they fought alongside could be there at breakfast and gone by dusk. even the ones who don't meet unfortunate early ends rarely live past sixty. ]
...Guess that's pretty different for you, isn't it?
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silence, for a moment. ]
Ah, well. I suppose I don't know how long I have left even without the grievous injuries.
[ he's pretty old. still, his thoughts are just a scribble of being tired of having to give up the things he loves in the name of duty. ]
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Ugh, c'mon, don't start talkin' like that.
[ like your life don't matter. ]
...You've got the option of stayin' in Heaven too if you'd rather, don't you? [ not that this is much of a pitch when they're having this conversation in this awful cafeteria. ] If you don't think goin' back to your world is that important. Reckon you wouldn't have to wait so long for the rest of us then, and I doubt you'd be the only one stayin' behind anyway.
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No, I must go back. [ for a lot of reasons, but. ] It will not be a hardship. I did not hate my life. Mostly, I cannot leave Feixiao.
[ ... ]
I wouldn't want to stay here by myself, in any case. That would be worse.