How's a healer gonna heal shit if they're falling apart themselves?
JQ, you're getting me a little worried, here. I know we're not living in the same situation, but dipping out of reality doesn't sound like a good option to me.
You're right, I'm not. [ he will drink more, though. ] My feelings are inconvenient and unnecessary, especially when I'm already so used to loss. I'd prefer to spend my time helping all of you.
Shadowheart said that I shouldn't take each death so terribly, and she's right.
Oh for heaven's sake. Would you take that kind of talk from any one of us? You got every right to feel upset, Jesus, it's a madhouse out here. There ain't a one of us who's sleeping easy these days, especially not come the weekend.
What I'm worried about is maybe you're feeling responsible for it. Like you didn't stretch yourself thin enough to cover our asses. It's not fair to hang the onus for everything on yourself. You got a right to be hurt by it, same as anyone else, but my god, it's not all landing on your shoulders either.
[He reaches out, slinging his arm over the other man's shoulder. If he still had the other hand he'd be poking it in his chest right now, but he'll have to settle for tilting his head to look him square in the eye. Unavoidable.]
You're doing more than enough. And the people are grateful for it. I just think we'd love to see you cut yourself some slack.
[ well, he hits it in one, he really does. jiaoqiu is silent for a moment, and his hand goes for his tail - and then he pulls it back and grips at his clothes instead.
he doesn't mind the closeness, glancing at richie - at what he can see, anyway. ]
I don't know that I'm capable of that. [ ruefully. but. ] I must be useful.
Maybe useful isn't the best measure of a person after all. [He could digress, and digress hard. It's the kind of thinking that leads to all sorts of people getting raked over. If you can't work, you don't eat.
But Jiaoqiu's loathing is all turned inward, and ham-fisted comparisons to broad-sweeping eugenics aren't going to drive the point home.]
You are. You have been. You're the first on the scene in the event of an emergency, and you're the last to give up on people. And even beyond bare bones utility, you don't think there's some value in the simple pleasure of your company?
Expecting to outpace the madness here is a fool's errand, JQ. It's out of all our hands. Even yours, as old and wisened as they may be.
Try to have a little faith in yourself.. One smidge. [he pinches his fingers together and squints.] Juuuuust a pinch.
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Yours and mine both.
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and then he hands it back. ]
... Would you allow me to ask you something?
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[Looks to him curiously.]
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...Well. Speaking as someone who's only got, what, not even a quarter of your lifespan under my belt? I'd rather keep the pain.
I don't know that living's worth a damn without feeling it. And you gotta take the bad with the good.
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I agree with you. [ ... ] A healer is at his best when he cares about his patients.
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How's a healer gonna heal shit if they're falling apart themselves?
JQ, you're getting me a little worried, here. I know we're not living in the same situation, but dipping out of reality doesn't sound like a good option to me.
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[ he says a little dryly. but. ]
... Don't worry about me. I can't stand to be a burden, so I won't be. I'd just wondered what your thoughts were.
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You're not being a burden, I'll fucking assure you of that.
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You're right, I'm not. [ he will drink more, though. ] My feelings are inconvenient and unnecessary, especially when I'm already so used to loss. I'd prefer to spend my time helping all of you.
Shadowheart said that I shouldn't take each death so terribly, and she's right.
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What I'm worried about is maybe you're feeling responsible for it. Like you didn't stretch yourself thin enough to cover our asses. It's not fair to hang the onus for everything on yourself. You got a right to be hurt by it, same as anyone else, but my god, it's not all landing on your shoulders either.
[He reaches out, slinging his arm over the other man's shoulder. If he still had the other hand he'd be poking it in his chest right now, but he'll have to settle for tilting his head to look him square in the eye. Unavoidable.]
You're doing more than enough. And the people are grateful for it. I just think we'd love to see you cut yourself some slack.
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he doesn't mind the closeness, glancing at richie - at what he can see, anyway. ]
I don't know that I'm capable of that. [ ruefully. but. ] I must be useful.
[ or what's the point of him, right? ]
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But Jiaoqiu's loathing is all turned inward, and ham-fisted comparisons to broad-sweeping eugenics aren't going to drive the point home.]
You are. You have been. You're the first on the scene in the event of an emergency, and you're the last to give up on people. And even beyond bare bones utility, you don't think there's some value in the simple pleasure of your company?
Expecting to outpace the madness here is a fool's errand, JQ. It's out of all our hands. Even yours, as old and wisened as they may be.
Try to have a little faith in yourself.. One smidge. [he pinches his fingers together and squints.] Juuuuust a pinch.