I don't like it, but it is. I'm glad it wasn't just for the sake of making ends even, but that there was reason to it.
[ He didn't like that they essentially just had to swallow it. He didn't ever really talk to Firefly. He'd look down on purely vengeful murder though -- been there, done that, right?
There's really very little sense of victory to it. ]
[ yeah. he kind of just feels empty about it, but... there's a small part of him that feels justified. he doesn't know if he likes that part or not. ]
It feels wrong to feel vindication, but I do. [ that he was right, it wasn't just self defense - and a little bit of satisfaction in knowing that a stupid kid he cared for finally got some justice.
it's a hollow victory. he's watching people die every week, knowing that he can't do a single thing to save them, and it's cracking his healer soul into little pieces. but there's something in this, at least. ]
But I think that if I expect myself to be a perfect person with perfect morals, I will always be disappointed.
Take what victories you can Jiaoqiu. I will not judge. Multiple people agreed it was right, today.
[ EVERY SINGLE person voted Akihiko today, not a single angry vote for Yves or another person. Sure, it doesn't mean it sits right with everybody, but clearly nobody thought Yves was outright wrong.
But Jiaoqiu also suffers a lot and Marcoh thinks this one thing is fine to enable. ]
[ genuinely. it's a little bit of a relief to not have to hold himself up so stiffly. he tries very hard to be a stable and calm and rational force, but sometimes you just really want to be a little bitch. ]
I do have my issues with how it was handled, but I cannot say it wasn't necessary.
[ It's okay, Marcoh has no inner desire to be a little bitch so he will be the stable rational force where possible... outside of a few angry bits but that hasn't been really around in a while. Truly he's having a much better arc than Daan. ]
I don't like it, but it was necessary. If we cannot handle it during the trial then it is as much as letting them go.
[ The paranoia and guilt get a tad stronger. ]
And that's not good. It stays. They will do it again.
[ thank god he's having a little bit of a better arc than daan that do feel me goof ]
Yes. I agree with you on that part. [ wryly. ] I only mean that I would have preferred to ask her a few questions before Yves stabbed her to death without warning.
We cannot let them go. Not when we know what we do about the corrupted souls.
Earlier, I told Laurence that if you close yourself off to pain, you'll never experience the best parts of life. The warmest moments mean something because of the worst.
[ he folds his arms, glancing out at the grounds again. ]
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[ He didn't like that they essentially just had to swallow it. He didn't ever really talk to Firefly. He'd look down on purely vengeful murder though -- been there, done that, right?
There's really very little sense of victory to it. ]
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It feels wrong to feel vindication, but I do. [ that he was right, it wasn't just self defense - and a little bit of satisfaction in knowing that a stupid kid he cared for finally got some justice.
it's a hollow victory. he's watching people die every week, knowing that he can't do a single thing to save them, and it's cracking his healer soul into little pieces. but there's something in this, at least. ]
But I think that if I expect myself to be a perfect person with perfect morals, I will always be disappointed.
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[ EVERY SINGLE person voted Akihiko today, not a single angry vote for Yves or another person. Sure, it doesn't mean it sits right with everybody, but clearly nobody thought Yves was outright wrong.
But Jiaoqiu also suffers a lot and Marcoh thinks this one thing is fine to enable. ]
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Thank you, Marcoh.
[ genuinely. it's a little bit of a relief to not have to hold himself up so stiffly. he tries very hard to be a stable and calm and rational force, but sometimes you just really want to be a little bitch. ]
I do have my issues with how it was handled, but I cannot say it wasn't necessary.
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I don't like it, but it was necessary. If we cannot handle it during the trial then it is as much as letting them go.
[ The paranoia and guilt get a tad stronger. ]
And that's not good. It stays. They will do it again.
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Yes. I agree with you on that part. [ wryly. ] I only mean that I would have preferred to ask her a few questions before Yves stabbed her to death without warning.
We cannot let them go. Not when we know what we do about the corrupted souls.
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They'll probably end up in the same place. Maybe you will be able to get letters, if Brim doesn't try to kill her first.
[ It's almost a joke but it's also really not, he feels like there is a distinct probability Brim will try this. ]
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That child... [ yea yea he's like forty but he's also a teenager ] I'm sure he will.
I did not ever mind looking out for him, but sometimes I do feel relief knowing that he isn't also on my plate, so to speak.
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[ Maybe. ]
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[ silence, for a little bit, and then: ]
I feel a little better.
[ being around marcoh helps. ]
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[ he folds his arms, glancing out at the grounds again. ]
You are part of my warmest moments. So thank you.
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[ He reaches over and -- no, he decides against a hand on the shoulder, going for a ruffle of Jiaoqiu's hair instead. ]
I'm glad.
[ He knows he just said that but it bore repeating. ]