[ he leans a little closer, and jiaoqiu shifts, resting a hand on his back. he's allowed to lean if he wants. ]
It is. [ trust him, he knows. knowing that the only way to help these people is to let them die is a nightmare for a healer. but... ]
Jing Yuan sent me a message. He told me to think of him as my patient, still. That I cured him, and that he is recovering because of what I did. [ ... ] I think expelling him was the scariest thing I've ever done. But he's alright, somewhere.
[ that really does sound like a tough thing to tell anyone, let alone someone who's entire job is keeping people alive? there's a pang of sympathy. ]
...It was scary just to see. Having to live it... I can't imagine. [ horrifying. ] It's good that they're somewhere safe where they can heal, and I know we're supposed to see them again sometime, but... how they have to get there is still awful. It still hurts everyone on both sides.
[ focusing on a positive future is a little hard when it's so painful in the moment. ]
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It is. [ trust him, he knows. knowing that the only way to help these people is to let them die is a nightmare for a healer. but... ]
Jing Yuan sent me a message. He told me to think of him as my patient, still. That I cured him, and that he is recovering because of what I did. [ ... ] I think expelling him was the scariest thing I've ever done. But he's alright, somewhere.
no subject
[ that really does sound like a tough thing to tell anyone, let alone someone who's entire job is keeping people alive? there's a pang of sympathy. ]
...It was scary just to see. Having to live it... I can't imagine. [ horrifying. ] It's good that they're somewhere safe where they can heal, and I know we're supposed to see them again sometime, but... how they have to get there is still awful. It still hurts everyone on both sides.
[ focusing on a positive future is a little hard when it's so painful in the moment. ]
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[ it hurts, but he appreciated jing yuan trying to make him feel better about killing him. ]
You're right, of course. It is a terrible method. Like leeches or bloodletting in general, there is so much pain before there's a recovery.
[ gently, he rubs laurence's back. ]
Remember that you can lean on all of us, alright? It's difficult to ask for help, but it isn't shameful.