[ he taps his fingers on the counter, for a moment, like he's debating on how much he wants to say. and then: ]
It's a long story, but the short of it is that in order to make sure the man that mauled me would be too weak to kill everybody on my ship, I poisoned myself. His kind eats their prisoners before battle, you see, and I knew that either way, I was going to die.
[ a tremor of dread affects chrono physically as well as mentally, his shoulders shaking in abject horror. he'd known there must be some awful deaths amongst their number, but hearing one outright is a different story. ]
[ if it helps (it probably doesn't) jiaoqiu is so very serene about it. it doesn't seem like it hurts him much to recount it, and very carefully he rests his hand on chrono's arm, if he'll allow it. ]
Yes. The poison shut down a good portion of my body. I assume that if I had survived, I would have been permanently and completely blind. As it is, I can see enough to make my way.
[ a beat. ]
I'm sorry to tell you the details. It isn't exactly a heartwarming story.
Ah... not to be every other adult in a hard situation, but life often isn't fair. [ a little smile. ] It doesn't change much for me. I can make my way around just fine, and I can still perform my duties as needed.
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chrono's wonder makes him temporarily set his concern aside, nodding as if he didn't just make a comment about having chemicals in their rooms. ]
Ah, you think? Need a cork or something...
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Mmm... [ squints, looking around for one. it takes a minute, but he finds one. it's the same deal, he seems to misjudge the distance. ear flick.
but he hands chrono a cork, after a moment, and then looks over the rest of the bottles. ]
I originally came here to see if I could make some sort of medicine, but these ingredients aren't exactly right.
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Medicine? Got anythin' to do with why you're strugglin' with depth perception right now?
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he pauses for a second, and then brings a hand up to rub at his eyes. ]
... No, the medicine was for all of you. [ a very quiet feeling of something like shame, uselessness, struggling pride. ]
I suppose there isn't much use in hiding it. You're right, I can't see well.
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Hey, it's okay. Don't worry about it, you're doin' great. Do you know what happened?
[ something like koharu's eyes, last week? ]
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It changes nothing, I'm still capable of plenty. [ a beat. ] It's a result of my death. I've been this way since I arrived.
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[ how are those related...? ]
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[ he taps his fingers on the counter, for a moment, like he's debating on how much he wants to say. and then: ]
It's a long story, but the short of it is that in order to make sure the man that mauled me would be too weak to kill everybody on my ship, I poisoned myself. His kind eats their prisoners before battle, you see, and I knew that either way, I was going to die.
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Then- you- i-it's still affecting you, even now?
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Yes. The poison shut down a good portion of my body. I assume that if I had survived, I would have been permanently and completely blind. As it is, I can see enough to make my way.
[ a beat. ]
I'm sorry to tell you the details. It isn't exactly a heartwarming story.
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No, no, I did ask. Thanks for telling me, just... [ shakes his head ] You're suffering even now. It's not fair.
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Ah... not to be every other adult in a hard situation, but life often isn't fair. [ a little smile. ] It doesn't change much for me. I can make my way around just fine, and I can still perform my duties as needed.