pc ♠ marcoh

[fried]

:fruglift:

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[fried]

[ he stays at the door, ears pinned back. ]

And why is that.

[boxcar]

Why do you think.

[ They were being quiet about it but not exactly whispering about using tumbledust on him. ]

[fried]

[ help me i don't think he would have said it in earshot of marcoh on purpose ]

If I were sure, I wouldn't be asking you.

[boxcar]

[ WELL... I guess the thoughtshare in execution was also there. ]

You can take your guess.

[ But him being tired most of all. ]

[fried]

[ he folds his arms. ]

If it's because I was complicit in stopping you, I do not regret it. Your soul's redemption and your ability to go back to your sister matters more to me than your feelings on revenge.

[boxcar]

Clearly it doesn't stop anyone else, so.

[fried]

I don't understand why you're angry with me, Marcoh. Have we not spoken about this at length?

If anything, I should be angry with you.

[boxcar]

[ For what. Everyone got as they wanted. ]

Then be angry. I don't care.

[fried]

[ Ah. I was right. ]

I'm not angry with you. I'm sad. [ ... ] But I suppose I don't feel emotions, do I. So perhaps I'm lying.

[boxcar]

[ God. There's some amount of irritation, but it's meagre. He's more tired than anything. ]

If you're angry about what I said to you, then I'm sorry.

[fried]

[ he's tired, too. it shows in the slope of his shoulders, in the weight of all the lost on his shoulders. ]

You really must believe that I'm not angry. And I don't want an apology you don't mean, in any case.

Is this how you handle conflicts with friends? By being sullen and expecting me to read your mind? Literally, in this case.

Or are we not friends any longer?

[boxcar]

Sounded like something a person would only bring up when they're mad about it.

I hardly think this counts as just a conflict. [ The scales are like. Way more dire. ] I haven't said anything of the sort.

[fried]

I told you already. I'm sad that you thought that something I struggle with was something you thought appropriate to use to hurt me in front of other people.

[ tail flick. ]

You haven't said anything, is my point.

[boxcar]

And I just said I'm sorry.

[ If Jiaoqiu thinks that's not sincere, well. He's kind of not in the mood to argue or try to convince someone he's sorry. ]

What were you hoping I'd say?

[ Frankly, this a hell of a lot more words than he was willing to say the other day. ]

[fried]

[ he finds it hard to tell if it's sincere because the way it was worded did not sound like it was, but jiaoqiu isn't going to force him to do any convincing. it's not really worth it. ]

I was hoping you would explain to me why you're angry with me rather than making me play a guessing game.

Is it because you were stopped? Is it because I keep coming back? Is it because you really think that I cannot possibly understand what it's like to lose someone that is holding you together?

Uruha said to read your letters. In case you did not see.

[boxcar]

You're not the only person I'm angry at, Jiaoqiu.

[ He's mad at everyone. He's mad at Anders for bonking him with his great stick. He'd mad at Siffrin for the level of severity of what he'd done. For going after Uruha. For everyone for, as far as he feels, overlooking the horrors because it was possession. At Uruha for forgiving the person. For not fighting back. For leaving him a flower. For saying goodbye. All of these thoughts Jiaoqiu can pick up as he pleases while Marcoh buries the ends of his palms over his eyes, not even cleaned.

And they'll be back tomorrow and he'll be expected to welcome them back, won't he. Brush all this under the rug, because they have a bigger goal to meet, a common enemy to unite against, forget about it. How is he supposed to look at Uruha without thinking of his corpse? Look at Siffrin without thinking of their mental screaming NOT. YOU. And he'll be called an asshole for it, isn't Jiaoqiu already basically calling him one now? ]

I read it afterwards.

[fried]

That is not what I asked you.

[ ear flick. he's not saying marcoh is an asshole - he's always been very clear with things like that, unafraid to say so. though of course marcoh is free to think what he wants. ]

I cannot apologize on the behalf of the others. I can only decide if an apology is appropriate for me to give, but I will not blindly say I'm sorry.

[ his voice is calm and even. ]

You have not reacted this way in previous weeks. Does it only matter this much because it was Uruha? Would it have made it better to repay senseless violence with senseless violence?

[boxcar]

For assuming what's good for me.

[ Fine then. There. It's broad, but it's not inaccurate to how he feels. ]

[fried]

[ well, that's an answer at least, he'll take it. thinly: ]

Are you trying to argue that killing someone of your own volition and ruining your chances of going back to your sister was good for you? Have you not spent weeks telling me that you don't want to hurt people?

[boxcar]

Do not bring her into this.

[ He may be tired but he says this quite testily. ]

[fried]

[ stares in his direction. ]

Why? She's relevant.

[boxcar]

She's not. Or did you give this same, "you just ruined your chances of redemption" type talk to every single executioner that's been up there? To Yves and Yoji both? Brought up their old wounds?

I do not understand the point of this talk.

[fried]

I did not say you did. I said if you had killed Siffrin outside of the execution you might have. [ firmly. ] The execution is not what I'm talking about. Otherwise I'd be worried about myself, as well. Uruha and Yves were killed and sent to heal, and so this situation does not apply to them.

We would have had to kill you. We would have had to vote for you, had you killed Siffrin during trial. You understand how this would have been upsetting, yes?

Someone would have had to stand up there and execute you.

[boxcar]

Well that isn't what happened, is it.

If you're come to scold me about a hypothetical then I have nothing to say. I don't know if you want me to apologise, or say I won't do it again, but it's past.

[fried]

[ a sigh. ]

I was trying to explain to you why we stopped you, because you said we decided what was best for you. Because we care about your future. I don't need you to do either of those things.

I am not intending to scold you. [ he brings a hand up to rub at his face. ] I am... trying to hold out my hand, as always. Perhaps I am doing a poor job of it.